Feline Problems

My cat has herpes. 

It turns out that, like humans, cats can get herpes.  In cats, it causes upper respiratory symptoms, conjunctivitis, and lesions in and around the eye.  Like the kind that causes cold sores in humans, it is transmitted from cat to cat via discharge from the infected cat's eyes, nose, or mouth.

So the cat's not sleeping around.  It would be hard to, since he's neutered.  Of course he could have caught it from his slut mother, a feral stray who probably slept with every tomcat (and Dickcat and Harrycat) she came across before giving birth to her brood of bastard children underneath my neighbor's porch. 

If you are detecting a bit of hostility here, let me explain that I have just been to the pharmacy, where I spent $125 on eye drops for Herpes Cat.  $125.  On eye drops.  For a CAT!  It would be a lot cheaper to just get a new cat. 

Which brings me to my new hobby: cat wrestling.  Every two hours, I'm supposed to hold this cat down, pry open his eye, and put in eye drops. 

They have to be kept refrigerated too.  The eye drops.  Not the cat. 

Needless to say, I'm sporting a few new claw marks on my arms, and a lot of fur on my clothes.  I may need to rethink the wisdom of cats as pets. 

Do goldfish get herpes?

Why Sandy Socked It To the (Frisco) PTA

It is an indisputable fact that we are well off – my husband has a good job, I get to stay home with the kids, our mortgage will be paid off in a few years, and there is money for gymnastics and karate lessons. My kids may not get every single thing they want, but they certainly have everything they need, and then some.

The suburban city we live in has a median income of $103,000, almost twice the national average ($52,000). Only 3.6% of residents have incomes below the poverty line. The children of Frisco are Children of Privilege.

Raising Children of Privilege poses some difficulties. How do you teach your kids to the dangers of materialism in a community where “deprived” means they only have ONE American Girl doll?

This week, I quit the PTA. In fact, I more or less told them to “go to hell.” I’m not really proud of losing my temper, but the more I think about it, the more I feel it was the right decision.

Here’s what happened: I had volunteered to collect Box Tops this year. It’s a time consuming job; the Box Tops are less than 2 inches wide and each one has to be checked for its itty-bitty expiration date. Then they are grouped into bags of 50 and mailed to General Mills, who gives the school a check of 10 cents per Box Top. Our school averages about $3000 from this – that’s a lot of Box Tops!

The reason I volunteered for this tedious job, is that I was upset with the way it was run last year, and I felt that I needed to put my money where my mouth is. You see, each student was given a raffle ticket for every ten Box Tops they turned in, and the student with the winning raffle ticket got an iPod.

An iPod.

This is an elementary school. The child who gets this prize might be a Kindergartner. Who in their right mind would give an expensive consumer electronic to a Kindergartner? Ditto for a First and Second Grader. Some kids MIGHT be responsible enough in Third or Fourth grade, but frankly, I think that should be a parent’s decision.

Plus, an iPod has ancillary expenses – you have to own a computer to use it and you have to buy the songs at a dollar a pop. You’ve pretty much handed that kid’s parent a bill, not to mention the added responsibility of monitoring the kid’s downloads.

So, I wanted to change the prize, and I was willing to do the Box Top job to make that happen. My first suggestion was a gift card to Barnes & Noble, but there are tax problems with non-profits and gift certificates, so that wasn’t an option. For reasons I’m not clear on, it was also important that the prize not involve food, so a pizza or ice-cream party was out.

My next suggestion was an over-sized stuffed animal, but the PTA felt that older kids wouldn’t find that motivational. The latest Diary of a Wimpy Kid book might be seen by some parents as inappropriate. (I find it hilarious that a book present in every classroom in the school is inappropriate, but no one saw an issue with an iPod, which has virtually no educational value.) I asked the school librarian to suggest a different book. She said she liked the iPod idea! A basket of art supplies was rejected as boring, as was a basket of family-friendly board games. Finally, the PTA president grudgingly suggested tickets to the local minor league baseball team. The season doesn’t start until May, by the way; but at least it’s wholesome, community-oriented, and family friendly.

But I was feeling pissy. As far as I could tell, the only way in which her idea was better than mine, was that it was her idea and not mine. I’m not proud of my attitude, but my feelings were hurt and I was throwing myself a little pity party.

Then we had the PTA meeting. The PTA normally conducts meetings by holding parents hostage. They schedule a performance with the children, then hold the meeting before the kids take the stage. Generally, the parents vote yes on everything, like good little sheep, so that they can get it over with and see their kid, which is the only reason they are there in the first place.

On the agenda at that meeting was approving the Fun Run to be held again next year. Unfortunately for the PTA, someone asked a question. How much did we make? It turns out that the Fun Run brought in a whopping $70,000 – an extraordinary amount of money!  But the trouble started when it was revealed that we only keep 52% of that; so half of what the parents gave the school goes to the company that coordinates the Fun Run. Now obviously, those folks put in a lot of work and deserve to be compensated for their time; but the question on the ballot is “should we do it again next year?” A lot of parents were starting to think no. That’s a hell of a lot of money. And what are we doing with all that money anyway, someone wants to know.

The answer: we are going to buy iPads and iTouches for all the classrooms. Again with the pricey consumer electronics; flashy, but of little educational value, all for a school that already has three fully equipped computer labs, a full time computer teacher, two computers in each classroom (one for the teacher and one for the students), AND a MacBook in every classroom. There is murmuring in the room. The president decided to table to motion until the February meeting, when, of course, there will be a different set of parental hostages present. Perhaps they won’t ask so many questions.

So it occurs to me, the PTA already has $36k. Do I really need to put my efforts into raising ANOTHER three grand? I’m starting to think no, and the more I think about it, the more I start to think that, in fact, I have a moral obligation to dedicate my time and money to something else.  So I told the PTA to take this job and shove it.  Actually I just told them that I was tired of the red tape and politics and that I was permanently done with the PTA, but the "shove it" was definitely implied.

So I’m giving my own Box Tops to a Title I school. A friend works there and tells me that they need basic necessities. And I’ve decided to get my daughter involved in the Roots and Shoots program, which coordinates service projects for kids. She and I are going to a food pantry to help stock shelves. Not the Frisco food pantry, serving Frisco’s token Poor Person; one that serves a large community of truly needy families.

It doesn’t change the fact that I’m raising Children of Privilege, but perhaps they can a least get a sense of just how privileged they are.